Judicial Humor on the Computer's Gender
(From New York Times, November 18, 1998)
The Microsoft trial is not all fireworks by any means. There are
long stretches of tedium and droning testimony on the dry technical details
To lighten things up, United States District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson
began the afternoon session here today by saying that the court is on "some
e-mail humor list." He then read a computer humor entry he thought
Both men and women, it seems, were asked what gender would be the most
appropriate for computers.
The women, the e-mail message said, agreed that computers should be
masculine for the following four reasons.
The men, according to the e-mail message, agreed that computers should
be feminine for the following four reasons:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data, but they are still clueless.
Most of the time, they are the problem.
As soon as you commit to one you realize that if you waited a little longer
you could have had a better model.
No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible
to everyone else.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half
your paycheck on accessories.
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